Sunday, January 4, 2009

NEWS DESK: TRAGEDY STRIKES

We regret to report that the latest experiment from Noble Defender Brewery has gone sadly awry. Pictured here is Old Man Towle wasting his 2.5 gallon batch of "Blueberry Pancake Ale". "It seemed like a good idea at the time," explained Towle, "I didn't think the blueberry seeds would be so problematic, I'm sorry for the sadness I've caused." Beigeberry, a Noble Defender enthusiast, reacted by saying, "Blueberry Pancake? It tastes more like Puke-berry Urinal-cake."
Noble Defender has destroyed the complete batch but vows that the Blueberry Pancake Ale is not lost to this world. Towle promises to continue the experiment "until the batches start creating giant, mutant, megalomaniac yeast cells that say awkward things in other-wise laid-back social situations or the next season of The Biggest Loser starts." On a postitive note, the brewery's recent holiday pack, amber ale and Scotch ale, met with rave reviews.

2 comments:

subliminalrabbit said...

aww, i'm so sad to miss the holiday ales again this year!

don't worry; i have faith in your ability to flapjack a brew.

Lara said...

sad!! I hope the next batch behaves better. happy new year!